Ex; Day 49

Today you spoke daggers at me, not directly, but daggers nonetheless. Veiled with truths and half-truths, some lies. I’m not offended because of the truths, or even the lies. I acknowledge the truths, I recognize the flaws in my design, the flaws in my character. The half-truths and lies are flimsy, but carry the weight of your opinion, which is the part that stings most. I’m afraid I can only admit how awful I was, but not without recognizing how great I was trying to be. Somehow, I ruined something that was good to me, because I was too stupid, or loathsome to understand what I had. Your friends were right: I deserved to lose you before, but I did not deserve to lose you when I did.

Waiting; Day 25

I wipe the tears away from my eyes; this is for the best, I lie. The sting still lingers, pain making my eyelids droop and my demeanor falter even more. There’s a silent emptiness, a sadness that overwhelms, while my body and mind turn to distractions. Distractions while I wait. Wait for her to call, wait to hear her voice, wait for her to arrive. Always waiting, and always wanting.